Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
