Got a toothbrush?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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