She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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