Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
