My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
