Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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