I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
