it wasn't lemon gatorade
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
