I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
