i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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