what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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