you turned your livingroom into a bong?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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