I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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