why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
