Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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