i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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