I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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