You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
be right there i have to get my cape
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
