lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
