I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
