I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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