is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
