Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
