Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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