I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
