He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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