where am i from again
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
