My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
