I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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