went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
