no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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