If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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