her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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