You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
