There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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