That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
