why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
