she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
