You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
