I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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