i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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