Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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