Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
