I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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