the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
