What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
