Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
