I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
