filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
