she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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