think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Randomize
