adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
