its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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