You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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