Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize