You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
