she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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