maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
