I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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