oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
