that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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