escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
