Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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