So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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