i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
