he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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