and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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