Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
